Aveta or Lyregwyn (Gaulish goddess): was a goddess of female-fertility, childbirth and midwives, also associated with all fresh water. Aveta is known mainly from clay figurines found at Toulon-sur-Allier, France. The models show the goddess with infants at the breast and apparently she is concerned with nursing mothers. The figure is often accompanied by a small lap-dog.

Letter to Alyra

Alyra Gwendalyn ****,

It has been so hard for us to choose a name for you. Mommy would pick one, and Daddy just didn’t quite like it, and vice versa. We were both looking for the perfect fit for you. I first came across the reference to Aveta or Lyragwyn when I was about 7 months pregnant with you. My friend, Paula, had suggested goddess names, and I liked that idea. Because of Mommy and Daddy’s Irish heritage, I went in search of Celtic goddesses. I stumbled on Aveta. Since we had recently started thinking about a homebirth with a midwife, and were planning to deliver with midwives either way, I liked its origin. I posted it on facebook, just as something I liked, and people thought it was my choice for you. It wasn’t. Daddy didn’t feel a click with it, so it went on the list of considerations, but like all the others was left with a feeling of “not too sure”.

At some point we decided to just wait till you were born and let you tell us your name. Now, I sit here with you in my lap, three days old and un- named. I was looking again at previous possibilities yesterday and came across Aveta. When I read the description of the goddess Aveta, it brought tears to my eyes. I thought, “how perfect, to name you in honor of the incredible experience of your entrance into this world!”

Your birth was amazing! As beautiful and precious as their births also were, your brothers’ births left me questioning my body.Because Jacob was born in a place that did not honor birth, babies or mommas, our experience left something wanting for both of us, and a cut happy doctor left me a big scar. I am sure we were moments from an emergency c-section with him. Elias’s birth healed the wounds of my early experience to some degree. I knew after Elias, that I could do it, I just thought, not very well. He was hard to get out, and I felt like a Mack truck had hit me afterward. I also believe I was very close to a c-section with him because I was pushing for so long.

I worried while I was pregnant with you that I had just barely gotten away with vaginal births with those two, and yours would be the birth that pushed me over the edge. Many of my friends were advocates of homebirth, but I just didn’t think I was that brave. Daddy was also afraid of homebirth and things going wrong. We sought care at the MWC, and planned for another hospital birth.

Over the course of your pregnancy we began reading. Mommy and Daddy both read Ina May Gaskin’s guide to Childbirth. Because of that book, we became much less fearful of the idea of homebirth, and both started believing a little more in the power of the female body to produce children (as opposed to the medical treatment of birth as a highly volatile event with almost universally necessary intervention).

Granted, we were planning your birth at the birth center, which has a more natural view of women and birth that your standard hospital, but still is a hospital with significant medical influence. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Nell, the midwife that delivered Elias, and I know that she pushed protocol a bit to keep me out from under the knife, but that very thing was the issue- that she had to push protocol to keep me cut-free.

I was unhappy with Elias’s birth experience mostly because of the way that he was treated after he was born. He was poked, and prodded, scrubbed and taken away from me. I wanted none of that for you. I wanted to waive all testing, shots, baths, etc. and just let you enter the world in peace. I had studied the pros and cons of each procedure, and felt that most were unnecessary and others could very reasonably be delayed.

Daddy started researching the stuff I wanted to waive, and he was afraid to waive some of it because he felt there was an infection risk associated with going to a hospital where all the sick people bring their germs. He was hesitant to waive things under those circumstances.

I met Terri as a hypnobirthing instructor. Daddy and I both adored her instantly. We had been teetering with the idea of homebirth, but that is not why we went to see her. I was sincerely hoping to try hypnobirthing. While we were sitting there in the presence of this wonderful energy coming from this homebirth midwife/ doula/ hypnobirthing instructor, the ideas we had been playing with for potentially changing our birth plan came up again. I thought “I’d love to have this woman at my birth- her energy just really works for me.” Daddy had been saying “ why take a healthy baby and a healthy momma to a place for sick people?” ever since he decided that we had to do the eye cream if we were going to the hospital. By the day after we met Terri we decided to go for it.

I was still little scared of something going wrong, but after meeting Terri, and then Jenny, I knew that I was in good hands! I knew they wouldn’t push on me or intervene unless it was truly necessary. I knew that the intimate experience that Ina May described as the miracle of birth might be mine.

Nothing, I mean NOTHING went wrong. (Well, ok, I have a little wish that there was a video of your entrance, but…) Your birth was astonishing and healing and simply everything we could have hoped for. Daddy has said 10 times since you got here that he is going to tell everyone homebirth is the way to go. He was so excited about you that he wanted you put you straight in the car and drive you around to everyone he knew to show you off.

It was our experience. Mine, daddy’s and yours. It was childbirth in everything it could be. You were born with amazing swiftness; you came through my body without tearing it up. You did a great job being born! The three of us made our way together. I felt so much love for you. I felt strong, capable and as feminine as I could possibly feel. I am a birth goddess, as they say. Terri arrived at the last minute and kept anything from going wrong. She helped me make good pushing technique decisions. She made sure you were safe and that my body was intact after your passage. She and Jenny had already done so much as the midwives who believed in midwifery, in women, and in me and my ability to bring you to this world safely and without a lot of external tooling.

Daddy kissed me moments after you were born and told me that I was amazing. I don’t remember his exact words, but I remember the feeling. All of these things are so precious, precious because of so many things.

Your birth helped restore of my faith in my ultimate femininity. As daddy says you can’t get more feminine than giving birth. The strength I feel now for my self and for you. We are women, we are strong. I can help you grow up with more faith in your femininity than my earlier situations allowed for me. I can give you more faith in your body in general, because I now have more faith in mine. What fret should I have over the straightness of my nose or the weight of my body? I can give birth. I am powerful and strong and capable of doing what my body was designed to do! You, too, my little girl are strong, beautiful and capable of full femininity. Your potential is unlimited. You will be stronger knowing these things. Life will not be as limited to you because of your femininity as it has been for our mothers. Life can be more because of your femininity; your birth has helped restore some faith in that wisdom for me. I want to share that faith with you.

I want this name for you to remind myself everyday of the power of femininity that childbirth- your birth- made me feel, and of the midwives who guided me through it- Ina May, Terri, and Jenny. I want you to think of yourself as strong, feminine and capable of anything.Your name can remind you of the strength of women, of your strength. It can remind you of the power of faith in ourselves, and the power of the faith your father, and the midwives had in me and my capability to bring you to this world.

It can remind you of this power that you now inherit. You are strong, you are capable, your are the beauty that is woman!

This letter was written over the course of several days. You are now 5 days old and it has been settled. When I suggested Aveta, Daddy went looking for information on her. I attached to Aveta, but it just didn’t sit with daddy. He suggested that we name you Lyra Gwendolyn after the goddess’ other name. Lyra didn’t feel right to me. We struggled with if or a couple of days. I was lying in the bed with you this afternoon, and Alyra popped into my head. I looked at you and it immediately stuck. Daddy said – “Yeah, that is pretty, “ and I was happy because it retains the reference meaning to which I was so attached.

Welcome Alyra Gwendalyn ****!!

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Alyra’s Birth

Monday June 29, 2009 7:22 pm in her mother’s bed

I teetered in labor activities- contractions that were often just tight, and some that were uncomfortable, but not terribly painful, for nearly a week before she was born. I guess I got a lot of work done with those random contractions! At 12:30 on Sunday afternoon, I lost my mucus plug and had a bit more bloody show through out the afternoon and next morning. Still having totally random contractions, between 10 and 30 minutes apart, I figured I had a long while. At about 12:30 on the 29th I started to feel like things were really getting started, but still a little slow. I was having regular contractions, that were less than 10 minutes apart, but still varying wildly within that frame. (2 minutes, then 8 minutes, etc.) They were more intense, but only 30 to 45 seconds long.

I called Terri and Jenny, who also both figured I had a while. I wasn’t feeling terribly anxious and told them to go about their day. As the afternoon progressed, they got a little closer, but never really got a regular rhythm. At around 2:30 (I think) I told Craig he should go ahead and come home from work. I was still feeling that I had plenty of time, but really just wanted his company. I knew it was going to be sometime within a day, so I didn’t figure I was wasting too much vacation time—(We were trying to wait as long as possible to make sure he got as much time off after her birth as possible). He came home and my mom came over and did the dishes and picked up the kids.

Craig and I just kind of hung out after that. We were playing and laughing and even making out a little (kissing). Whenever I had a contraction, I’d get on my hands and knees and have him push on my lower back. It definitely made contractions more tolerable to be in this position and have his help. I hadn’t really needed much help coping earlier in the day. They just came, I breathed, and they went.

I sent Craig to the store for ice cream and took a shower to take the edge off while he wasn’t around to help. I started singing Ode to Joy during contractions. I have no idea where that song came from; it was just the one that popped into my head.

Around 4:30, I told Craig that we should go a head and set up the pool, but not fill it yet. I talked to my mom and told her things were starting to go, but still not that fast. The contractions were getting closer, but still hadn’t made it to the place where I felt it necessary to call over the midwives. They did hurt even though they were not terribly long. I just kept up with the kneeling and Craig kept up with the pushing on my back. He commented that my hips were spreading, and he’d been in that position with his hands on my hips enough to notice the difference.:)

While he was setting up the pool, I got back into the shower. I was feeling kind of anxious at that point, but still not enough to start telling people to come on over. I thought things were cooking, but that there were hours a head of me. I told Craig they were getting faster, and we should probably update the midwives. While he was on the phone with Terri, she asked if I felt like I needed her to come, and I said, that she could wait till I was ready to push if she wanted. I really didn’t know how long they were supposed to hang out, and I was thinking I still had a long time. She asked him if I was still congenial during contractions, and really I wasn’t terrible nasty, but quiet. I could still talk during a contraction if I really needed to say something, but I didn’t want to talk through them. He told her that I had just begun to not be too congenial during contractions, so she decided to come over just to check on me.

During the five minutes he was on the phone with her, I began to get the feeling that I wanted to climb the walls for every contraction. I still felt like I could handle it though. I was getting a bit teary during the peak moments of contractions, but I got out of the shower and just kept moving around and dropping to my knees for the contractions so Craig could put counter pressure on my back. After Alyra was born, Jenny asked me if I had noticed transition, and I said no. After thinking about it, though, the shower was probably transition, but it was nothing like the fear I had of it. Nothing at all!!

(It’s already difficult to remember some of the details and order of events, but cell phone time stamps help At 6:30, shortly after Craig talked to Terri (at 6:12), I told my sister, Jessica, to come over to take pictures, but that she should wait a while. I wanted to be alone till it was really on. I was working, but I was also enjoying an afternoon alone with Craig. It was really our thing. It’s kind of blurry between the text message to my sister and when Terri arrived.

When she came into my room, I informed her that cussing and whining were not helping. I also told her something about the neighbors and them being worried about hearing me scream, but that I was a crier not a screamer. I don’t remember screaming during either one of my previous births.

Terri was getting things together to listen to the baby, and offered to check me if I wanted to see where my dilation was. I wanted her to check and tell me I was at least cooking and could expect baby girl that evening sometime. She asked me where I felt like I was, and I really didn’t have a clue. I did NOT think I was there yet. My contractions still were under a minute long, but they were getting really close. She listened to baby who sounded good. While she was charting my feeling went roller coaster intense. As best I can remember she was writing and I got a contraction that made my head spin, and felt an intense need to poop, I squatted down to get Craig to push on my back and I actually pushed a little and my water broke. I couldn’t sit still long enough for her to do heartbeats again. She managed to get in there somehow and take a heartbeat and check me. I was ready to go!

I started pushing and screaming and yelling. I guess I only thought I was not a screamer. I felt this intense need to drum up every ounce of primal energy I could muster. In the process of bringing that energy out of my core, screaming just felt necessary. I couldn’t not scream. I pushed her, and hard. Terri said something about her getting squeezed and needing to be out. It motivated me to work really hard to get her out. I learned later that she had one (just one) lower than ideal heart rate. Her heart rate went right back where it was supposed to be by the next check.

Craig “I should have told Whittney that Alyra’s heart rate came back up. I have this sense of rhythm and I could hear the deceleration, and I could also hear that it was back and even faster by the next listen.

I pushed on all fours for a bit, and then I asked Terri if there was anything she could do to make it a little easier. She told me to get up on the bed (I think it was her) that I had been leaning on. I pulled my legs back a little, one more than the other and pushed as hard as I could. After a push or two I reached down and felt her head. I thought, “She’s right there, if I can just push hard enough, maybe I can get this over with.” At that point I still had NO expectation of getting her out in 15 minutes. I was expecting to do this work for hours.

I heard Terri call Jenny and tell her to keep coming cause I was really cooking or something of the like. I was sure she’d make it. I just kept screaming and pushing. At some point Terri told me to put my energy out my bottom instead of my throat. She then talked me through grunting her out. The ring of fire came, Terri told me to keep pushing and my skin would go numb. I don’t think I made it to numb, but I am sure it helped me keep going. I felt a little insane and totally primal! What now seems like only a moment later her head was out. Her cord was around her neck, but loosely. Terri unwrapped it, then Terri asked for one more push and the rest of her came out smoothly. It was 7:22 pm. Terri had only arrived a little more than a half hour earlier.

Craig adds: I just couldn’t believe how fast it was all happening. After watching Elias’s birth and 3 hours of pushing, I was just amazed to watch the swiftness of this birth. In fact when her head came out, I thought something was wrong. I saw a fluid rush, and didn’t know what was going on till I saw her ears. Then I knew it was her head coming and out and I was awe stricken.  How could it be so fast?

I pulled her up on my chest. She looked a little blue to me so I started rubbing her and shaking her lightly and telling her to make some noise, but she was going within a moment, making those precious first sounds. I had done it. My little angel was in my arms, and her birth had been powerful, swift, and uninterrupted by technology. It wasn’t very long after that that she started nursing and nursed through most of her first night. She nursed for almost 6 hours straight and then slept for about the same amount of time.

Jenny arrived just moments after Alyra was born. Later she was telling me about her dilemma between speeding and arriving before the birth.

I felt so taken care of after she was born. Terri and Jenny watched me, helped get me some food, cleaned everything up, and made sure I could move around. It was like have my really super smart friends help me deliver my baby. Craig kissed me and told me I was amazing. He had his own birth high. He was excited and ready to tell everyone he meets about the precious awesomeness of homebirth.

The thing that made my birth story so very special is that it truly belonged to us: Craig, Alyra, and me. Terri and Jenny were the angels that watched to make sure it went well, and provide expertise, but it was our experience. I really came to understand the difference between being the director of my own birth, and just a participant in someone else’s play.

Frankly, it seems like I haven’t given this story the written might that it deserves. I just can’t express how much this moment has added to who I am. The day of Alyra’s birth will be a beautiful memory that I will reflect on for the rest of my life. The pain, the joy, the love and the power that flowed through my body and through the space around me was intense. It was a day that really added to the bond between Craig and I. It was a day that made me more, more self confident, more secure, and more spiritual. There is no doubt that this precious child I now hold in my arms is a miracle.

Addendum: Terri even came over in the middle of the night on the Friday following her birth  to take care of a postpartum concern of mine.  The care doesn’t stop with the birth.